Together Forever?
by TheSilentPrincess
Summary: Everybody knows Sam and Emily's Story. The imprint. The scars. The eventual love. But what if the next chapter of their lives didn't go the way everyone expected it to? What if Emily finds herself pregnant? What if she doesn't say a word to Sam about it? What if she completely disappears?
1. Chapter 1

It seemed to take forever for the nurse to come back in the examination room. She didn't even have to say anything, and I knew. "Miss Young?" She asked as if there was another person in the room. "The results are back. You are in fact pregnant

After that, it was a blur. A doctor got called in to see if the baby was healthy and suddenly I found myself driving home to the reservation, freaking out.

Was I ready for this?This was Sam's child inside of me. It wasn't like I wanted it to be anyone else's, in fact I was overjoyed it was Sams, but, I couldn't ignore the part of me that knew what it would become because it was Sam's.

Did I really want that for my child? I knew the life style, I practically lived it with the boys. The sometimes endless patrols and then on the off chance that you don't have patrol, you;re sleeping. The boys can handle it alright, sure, but I didn't want that for my child. I knew I really had no choice though. Did I? I was the one who fell in love with a wolf. You could argue that I had no choice in that matter, either, but I did. It would have killed him, but I did.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. It wouldn't be pretty, and I would hate myself for doing it, but I had to leave LA Push.

I had too. For my child. It may not stop him or her from phasing, since there were vampires everywhere, and it may even make it worse in the long run but I had no other choice. I was stuck.

I would miss the pack...I would miss my house and life and fiancee, but it wasn't just about me anymore. Mother's are suppose to be completely selfless, and I wanted to be a good mother.

Sam would be home when I got back, unless there was an emergency patrol. He told me he was scheduled for morning patrol today, and proved it when he slipped out of bed early this morning. It was perfect, It meant I was free to leave without any questions, but it also meant he'll be home when I get there, ready to give me the Spanish inquisition. It would no doubt be easier then if it happened this morning though, I was hoping anyways.

I pulled in the driveway, and sat in the car for a couple minutes, taking deep breathes. I could do this. I had too. I was strong. I didn't get imprinted on for nothing.

Sam was already there as I made it up the private walk. His big muscular body, leaning against the door frame ready to greet me. I walked up the three steps to the porch slowly, staring at him, but not meeting his eyes at first. I was going to leave that part until I was wrapped in his arms, until the happiness of being there would cover up the uncertainty, or at least that was the plan.

Sam, being the very impatient man that he is, apparently got frustrated with my slow pace and met me in the middle of the porch, taking me in his arms right then and there, and kissing my three scars before he planted a quick kiss on my lips. "I missed you" He told me and kissed me deeper having no shame. "Where did you go?"

This was the part I was dreading. The lying. I really hoped he would push with what I was about to say. "Out." I grabbed on his his hands and pulled him in the house, shedding my coat and hanging in on the hooks just inside the door. He kicked the door closed, softly with his foot, just as it started to lightly rain outside.

"Obviously." he chuckled, not seeming to alert to the lie beneath the technical truth and very hungrily kissed me again, right inside the door, taking me into his arms once more.

I let my giggle at his possessiveness and eagerness take over as my hands connected with his chest. "Long patrol?"

He nodded with a grunt, making it clear he wasn't going to going to supply any more information, telling me I really didn't want to know anyways. I gulped. What was going to happen when I go? When I couldn't see him safe and sound after each of his patrols? Would I literally go insane with worry, to the point of barely functioning? I bit my lip and ever so slightly pulled away.

"Emily?" He noticed. Of coarse he would. He was Sam. He notices everything. I looked up at him with a smile fitting onto my face. "Whats wrong?" he still asked, despite the facial expression.

"Just feel a little off today." I half explained, which wasn't a real lie, I was a little sick to my stomach.

Off could mean a lot of things. I was expecting his next question to be what exactly he meant by off. Mentally or psychically? But of coarse, he picked up on that too. "And you still did errands?" He frowned.

"I said a little." I reminded him to avoid the over reaction. Which I should have known I would get anyways.

"Still..." He kissed me softly again and then pulled me to the couch and sat me down in his lap his arms snaking around my waist. "Rest." He commanded. "We cant afford you getting sick."

I moaned, knowing he would think of it being out of sickness rather then what it really was. I was already beginning to hate myself for what I was about to do. I gently cuddled into him, for probably the last time.

"Am I too warm for you?" He asked, then did the worse thing he could have done, shifted so that his palms of his hands rested on my stomach. On his child, his hand was on his child and he didn't even know it, would never know it, Would never even suspect it.

While I hoped the last statement with all my heart, if he never suspects it, it would save him a little pain, I found myself nodding and scooting off of him just to get his hands away from the child and having another terrifying thought as I did so. Sam was a wolf. Wolves had heightened senses. Could he...could he sense the baby? Did he already suspect it? Could he hear it's heartbeat? Feel its heartbeat even? Was he about to accuse me of keep secrets from him in the next couple seconds, trapping me into having to apologize to my child endlessly?

"Alright." He sighed and hesitantly moved a couple inches from me, settling for stroking the back of my hand instead. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? Anything?"

I sighed softly. Relief flooded through me. He didn't sense it...yet. But then again, with that relief came a wave of bone crushing guilt."Sam, I said a little off, It's not like I'm dying. I can get my own food." I closed my eyes for a moment. Maybe, when I opened them back up, this whole thing would turn out not to be happening. Maybe I was just dreaming.

"You downplay things, Em." He informed me as he got up and headed to the kitchen to get whatever supplies he thought he needed to get me better again. "You know you do."

I couldn't deny that he was right.

While he was in the kitchen, I let my mind wander into the dark place it needed so desperately to go if I had any hope at all of pulling this off, and it didn't take long for me to realize something. Now that he believed I was sick, he wouldn't leave my side very easily. I wouldn't put it past him to even skip his next patrol. _Great, Emily. Really smart. _I moaned softly again, and heard Sam pause breifly in the cupboards, where context clues told me he was getting ready to make tea.

I could just walk out, get in the car and never return right in front of him, but even as I thought it, I couldn't go out that way. He needed at least some sort of explanation. I didn't know how I was going to give it to him just yet, but I was determined too. He more then just needed it. He deserved it.

So I would wait. I would wait until I could do it in the less hurtful way possible.

I will protect my child.

**A/N: I hope everybody enjoyed that :) Please Review. I would love to know what you guys think. Looking foward to hearing from you!**


	2. Chapter 2

Sam came back and handed me a mug a couple minutes later, telling me to drink and watching me carefully as I did. After I took a few sips of the hot tea, he seemed to be pleased and sat down on the other end of the couch probably worried that I wouldn't want him near me after I crawled away from him earlier. I kind of didn't, but just watching him sitting there watching me made me sad in a way I couldn't describe, so after I sat the mug down on the coffee table, I carefully crawled back and laid my head in his lap. His hands immediately ran through my hair as I snuggled my face against his lower stomach so I didn't have to look in his eyes. "Sleep Emily." He urged me, the pad of one of his thumbs moving to stroke my showing scars as he grabbed a blanket of the back of the couch and draped it over us. I nodded silently, pulling the blanket just a little bit tighter, in a feeble attempt to persuade him not to let his hands travel to my stomach again. He shifted a little, so that he could lean his head on the back of the couch, and kept stroking my face with his thumb while the other fell limply to his side. It wasn't long before I heard his loud snores, and figured I should at least try to close my eyes too. Goodness knows when I was going to be able to get some sleep again. I closed my eyes and snuggled into him even more, trying to shut my brain off, but sleep didn't come.

Horrible thoughts came though. Bunches of them. I somehow kept my mind from focusing on Sam though, knowing that if I did that, I wouldn't be able to me even to walk an inch across that threshold. I knew I would later. Think about him, I mean. I knew that there was countless hours of sobbing in front of me. Right now, though, I thought of Leah.

I wondered how she was going to take my disappearance. I wondered how she was going to treat Sam after wards. She would probably see it as revenge and laugh in his face. An eye for and eye. I internally cringed. I wished I could tell her where I was going, why I was abandoning my whole family. Why I was abandoning her, my cousin, practically my sister. I wish I could tell her she was going to be an aunt. The old Leah would have loved that. The new one probably wouldn't, simply because it was Sam's child, but I wished I could tell her anyways. I wished that I could do more then that though, I wished that I could bring her with me. No... I shuddered softly against Sam's body, hoping he was to asleep to notice. I wished that I didn't have to leave.

)()()(

I felt Sam flip the blankets over lightly the next morning. "I'll be back." He told me softly, even though he wasn't sure if I was awake or not since I still had my eyes closed.

"You're leaving?" I asked still half asleep, letting said eyes flutter open slightly to see him get out of bed and sleepily pull on the same pair of cut offs that he had on yesterday.

He glanced at me like I startled him. "Uhhhh yeah." He fumbled with the button and zipper of the shorts then came over to my side of the bed. "I'll make it short, I promise. Maybe Embry or...someone can take over at some point."

As soon as he said it, I realized exactly what was happening and that I probably shouldn't have just questioned him. Now he _was _going to make it short, or maybe not go at all. I cringed internally, knowing I better start being careful about what I was saying. "No, don't do that." I tried to fix what I did. "I...I will probably be sleeping the whole time you're gone anyways." To prove my point, I yawned and closed my eyes sleepily. I was so exhausted that it was ridiculous, and staying awake half the night tossing and turning didn't help matters.

He sighed, worry lacing even that. I felt slight weight on the bed and his lips on my temple as he brushed my hair back. "Sleep Emily." He told me again, lips still brushing my skin.

I nodded against the pillow, not trusting my voice, as he stood up once more and made his way towards the bedroom door. "I love you." He told me one last time before he crossed the threshold.

I didn't respond. Even if I would have it would have been joined by sobs as tears started forming in my eyes the minute he said it.

I flipped the blankets back all the way when I heard the sliding glass close with a thump, then paused waiting a couple more minutes in case he decided to come back. That would just be like Sam, as soon as he's away from my presence forget what I said and come back in the house freaking out. How would I explain if he caught me in the act? I wouldn't be able to, and then I would be stuck here with me not trusting him.

After about ten minutes passed, and I was sure Sam had already phased and probably miles away, I picked my head off my my pillow slowly yawning and sat up, wondering what to do first.

What did I do? Do I just pack a few things and get in the car and drive away like nothing happened? Or do I go downstairs to cook breakfast first so it looked like I didn't know when I woke up that I was going to leave? The second option seemed silly and pointless even to me though. It was only going to waste time, anyone could walk in while I was going through the motions and then I would be stuck again.

I sighed and got up and walked up to the closet, blinded by tears that I was holding back since yesterday. _Sam._ That was as far as I would let my mind go. I was still holding true to what I said yesterday. I had to get myself out of this house before I let my mind travel and farther and truly think about the consequences.

As I bent down to the floor carefully to look for the suitcases in the back, the tears get louder and faster. I want to curl up in a ball right then and there and die. I don't though, I _cant. _I just wipe my face and search for the bag, grabbing it quickly, like if I didn't do it within two seconds of finding it, it would disappear. My hands paused on a second bag, wondering if I should take that one too. I quickly decided not to though. I didn't want it to be really noticeable at first that disappeared. When Sam got home from patrol the first place he was going to look was...

Well, I couldn't think about that, or else he wouldn't have to look anywhere because he'll find me lying on the floor, a sobbing mess with no need of looking anywhere else. I shake my head, clearing it, wipe my tears and start grabbing the first items of clothing I touch and stuff them in the bag, without bothering to fold them neatly. I don't have time to organize, no matter how much I want too.

Five pairs of jeans follow my shirts and bras. After I zipped the bag closed, I slipped out of my nightgown and into fresh clothes, closing the closet door and turning back to the bed. Now the question is should I make it? Or not? As I drop the bag to the floor, I do, pulling the sheets tight and straightening the pillows just like any other normal morning. After I was finished, I made my way downstairs, to pace the rooms down there. Not do anything, just pace. Well, maybe not pace, then walk around trying to commit everything to memory. Who knew if I was ever going to see it again? It was all I knew, and I knew if I remembered it as I dove into the unknown it would provide some sort of strange comfort. At least I hoped it would.

I stood in the middle of kitchen, feeling the cold smooth tiles under my bare feet and eyes scanning every inch of the room. Everything was how I left it last night when I insisted on cooking dinner, despite Sam's arguments. Surprisingly, no one of the pack showed up at all yesterday, but I still insisted on making a bunch of leftovers and stashing them in the fridge. I knew the food probably wouldn't even last them two days, if even one, but two days was better then nothing. I sighed softly as my eyes moved and landed on a vase of flowers on the window sill. My legs mechanically moved so that I was standing close to them to touch the delicate glass vase and smell the purple and white lily's standing up in the water. Sam gave these to me just last week. He said he wanted to surprise me, and give me something to keep me company while he was gone. I giggled at the thought then. Company? Don't you give each other puppies for that purpose? I think I asked him that too, and he just grinned and said the cheesiest most bizarre thing he could have said while opening his arms for me, "But you already have a puppy."

The tears started flowing again with the memory and looking out the window towards the forest gave me chills that the black wolf was going to come out at any moment, so I practically sprinted back up the stairs and grabbed my bag, knowing what I was doing and knowing that I couldn't do that. I could do that later. I could stall all I wanted for nine more months after I get far enough from the reservation that he couldn't find me. I wasn't going to be a coward.

That's exactly what I would be. That's exactly what I was trying to be, sitting here crying just waiting for him to find me, waiting for a excuse not to able to go. I shook my head, getting hair out of my eyes and I hefted the bag over my shoulder and touching my stomach lightly. As I crossed the threshold of the room though, I turned back, the flower conversation still on my mind. I wanted something to remember him by. No matter how selfish it was. No matter how stupid it was. I needed something tangible of his to touch and remember him. I needed something to keep forever. The question was what though? What would not be overly obvious to him at first? I tared at the room for a couple more seconds before going over to the closet again, opening it and grabbing one of his t-shirts, and put it up to my face and inhaled. It smelled like him and while the smell would fade after a while, it will forever be his, therefore perfect. Besides, soon enough I'm going to have a living breathing human being that was half his.

I shut the closet and carried the shirt downstairs in my hands. There was one last thing to do before I left. The thing that I saved for last because it was going to be the hardest. I had to try to give Sam some sort of explanation to why when he didn't find me waiting for him when he got home this afternoon. I sighed, seeming to sink down in a kitchen chair with a piece of paper and a pen and stared at the piece of paper for a long moment before I even wrote his name at the top.

It took me at least twenty minutes to write it, but this time I wasn't stalling. I was making sure my precious werewolf had enough information to keep him sane for the next several years. To keep him from...

Dying.

I didn't want to admit to myself that that was a possibility but the reality of it was that it was. I wasn't stupid. I knew what broken imprints did to the shifter I...

I jabbed my feet into my shoes and I practically ran to the car, shutting the door behind me with a loud bang and started sobbing.

I wasn't a monster.

I was worse then vampires. That's right. I was worse then the bloodsucking demons my fiancee was sworn to kill.

I jabbed the keys in the ignition through my tears and backed out of the driveway shakily without looking back at the house. If I could just make it out of LA Push...

I bite my lip and started sobbing louder. I was going to say fine, but I definitely wasn't going to be fine.

I wasn't going to be fine. I wasn't going to be fine ever again.

**A/N: Please Review. I would love to hear from you!**


	3. Chapter 3

As I crossed the far Eastern border of Forks, you would think my mind should have calmed down, but it didn't. What if Sam came back? What if he was at the house already? What If he was reading the note right now? As I asked myself this, I could no longer stop my mind from imagining it. The careful, tired eyes as he scanned the page line by line, growing angrier and more angrier as he made progress. His shaking body and the inevitable eventual crumpling of the note, his shaking hand dropping it to the floor. It would hit the floor just before he made it out the door, turning into a ferocious grief stricken black wolf. He would tear through the yard trampling on my small garden of flowers I worked so hard to plant at the beginning of spring. The flowers that annoyed all the boys, as they knew if they were not careful around them, I would kill them. He wouldn't care any longer though, and would barely notice ruining then as he tore into the forest to run blindly. I could practically hear his strangled howls, alerting the pack, letting all of them know I was gone within two minutes. They would try to track me down. I knew they would. Maybe not him right away, as he would be to distraught, but the rest of them. They were going to try to save their Alpha. This alone made me wish I would have planned this out more, and wrote them all personal notes. I had things to say to each and everyone one of them, I couldn't think about exactly what right now, but I was sure there was a lot. I wish I said goodbye to the girls too. Rachel and Kim deserved to know. But the thing was, I didn't want them getting any ideas. I didn't want them to think it was okay to leave the pack too. They looked up to me a little, with me being the first imprint and all. They shouldn't though. They thought I knew better then them, but the fact was that I didn't. If I did, I would have to run away. If I did, I would have thought of the consequences about having a child sooner and learned have been more careful.

As if the baby knew I was talking about him of her, a wave of nausea shot through me, like yesterday. At this point though, I wasn't sure if it was really the baby or the gut wrenching guilt and sadness that was intensified each mile I was traveling away from Sam. It was probably a combination of both. I was six weeks pregnant, as the doctors told me yesterday, and the sickness has already been coming in full rushes.

I was actually surprised Sam didn't suspect I was sooner. With all the pack work he'd been putting in lately, it was fairly easy to hide. Some days, he would leave in the morning before I was even awake, and come back by the time I was already cooking dinner for him and whoever else stumbled in behind him. By the time he did that, I was completely fine and knew better then to mention anything about it.

One time somebody did catch me though. Two weeks ago, Embry had let himself in the house, only to witness me violently lose my breakfast a couple minutes later. He kept asking if he should get Sam from patrol, and I denied him every time. He thankfully listened to me, but insisted on staying with me to watch me until Sam got home. When he finally did, I explained that it must have been something I ate. Sam wouldn't leave me in a room for the rest of the night, but he seemed to believe it.

Who was I kidding though? Sam wouldn't know pregnancy if it was staring him in the face.

And the question still remained, did that make me feel better, or worse? Yesterday, when he innocently put his hands on my stomach, it made me feel both, but that was the thing. I needed to pick one. Good? Bad? It sounded childish, because in all reality, there was absolutely no sane reason that I couldn't feel both ways about it. My mind didn't seem to be working on it's "sane reality" setting though. It was a priority to pick one, as if it was as important as food, or shelter.

At the thought of food, my stomach rumbled, painfully reminding me that I had skipped breakfast. I briefly wondered if I should stop for food, but knew I was still to close to the reservation for that. Plus, I didn't think my stomach could actually hold food, it was just trying to fool me. So in every way it would be best to keep driving on this seemingly endless, bleak and wet stretch of highway.

I was going to have to stop sometime though. My rational side knew that. At some point my car would run out of gas and I would get tired. My irrational side told me that it didn't matter, I had a full tank of gas and I just woke up. I could go on forever.

I wanted to go on forever. Very childishly I didn't want to think about where I was going to end up. Where I was going to stay. When my next meal was going to come from. How I was going to take care of this baby.

I would have to get a job somewhere. Luckily I already thought of this yesterday or else I would be scared with what my mind would come up with today. Maybe waitressing somewhere, or a retail store or something. Something, anything to live on. Something that wont make me regret leaving him.

Ha. That was a joke. I already did regret leaving him. In one way. I was still standing strong though. I still didn't regret it in the way of not raising our child in that world. On the other side of things, the pain in my chest was almost unbearable. Every time I clutched at it though, I painfully remembered the pain in the black wolf that was tearing through the forest chest was a million times worse. Every once of it was my fault. If my note didn't work, it would be my fault. If any wolves were phased with him right now, the pain that they are forced to feel from him was my fault too. Some of them didn't need any more pain. Most of them didn't. Life was already hard enough without me causing it to be.

Why did Sam have to imprint on me anyways? What was the point if all it was going to do was this? What was the point of being truly happy for a while if all it was going to do was end in this much pain? Then again, it started with pain, so we were all fools to think it was going to end up any way different. I didn't get it though. Why is something that was portrayed to be so good, so bad? Why did we have to go through it and drag Leah down with us? She didn't even deserve this. The Tribe didn't deserve it We didn't deserve it. Well, he didn't. I did. I deserved every once of it.

It started to rain harder as the minutes slipped away, and pretty soon thunder and lightning turned it into a full on storm, the kind that you could barely see through the sheets of rain. Some headlights in the distance were coming to a complete stop on the side of the highway. I couldn't stop though. Well, I probably could, if the wolves haven't started trailing me yet, they weren't going to, but this time it wasn't the wolves. It was me. I literally could not make myself slow down and pull over. It was like as long as I was going seventy miles per hour in the pouring down rain, I could keep sane and maybe even safe. Maybe I did think that, I didn't know. I was beyond the point of knowing what I was thinking. A small part of me knew I shouldn't be driving, but I pushed it away as I kept the car lurching forward. Other people were still on the road too, I rationalized. If there were other people doing what I as doing, I couldn't be that crazy. It didn't matter that most of them were going much slower then me, or probably wasn't as upset as me, all that mattered was that they were doing it too. It made it okay.

My mind went completely dull after a while as I went on auto pilot. No thoughts were clouding my head, not even things like _Gas _and B_rake. _My body was doing those things axiomatically and I guess my mind just didn't care if I was I was lurching the car well over eighty at some points or if I was slamming on the brakes a little to hard when it decided to slow down. All that was on my mind was Sam's broken anguished face, so I guess it was a lie that my mind was completely dull. That frustrated me even more though. I _wanted _completely dull. I wanted to forget the wretched image I couldn't seem to erase from my mind.

)()()(

I was vaguely aware of glass breaking and falling on my body and everywhere else around me in little tiny pieces. I remembered the impact of feeling like I ran into something. I remembered being jolted forward. I remembered hearing a big bang. I remembered...yells and cries, but I didn't recognize the voices. Were they my own? I remembered being soaked, like I just came out of a bath. It must have been a really cold bath though, because I remembered being freezing. I was remembered being cold deep within my bones. I remembered wanting Sam to warm me up. I wanted him so bad that it was a painful ache, like it always seemed to be, but much worse. Much, _much _worse.

)()()(

I woke up to a beeping. At least I think that's what I did, was wake up. It would be my best educated guess, but the only problem was I didn't even remember going to sleep in the first place. Common sense told me that I had to have fallen asleep sometime, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that it was wrong. That I didn't just fall asleep like a normal night, that something else must have happened. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what though. It was like... I faltered, trying to figure out what exactly it was like. I layed there listening to the annoying beeping, trying to figure it out for a good couple minutes. It was like getting drunk the night before and waking up not remembering a thing. The problem was that I didn't get drunk though. I was pretty sure of this. Getting drunk wasn't something I normally did. I was...

I was...

I squinted my eyes, still not registering what was in front of them. I couldn't finish that sentence. I panicked. How hard could it be? I was...

My breathing all of the sudden got faster, and I couldn't help but notice the annoying beeping did too. That was weird. Not only weird, but strangely familiar. The problem was I couldn't remember why it was familiar. I felt sure it was a fairly obvious answer to the question though. That it wasn't normal everyday beeping. That the beeping had some sort of big significance.

My eyes fluttered a few times, while I panicked even more. I didn't know anything! I didn't know what the beeping was or who I was or...why I woke up! Then again, why was I asking why I woke up? That wasn't a question you asked everyday. It was a expectation. You expected to wake up everyday. It wasn't something to be miffed about. That alone made me believe that something might have happened that maybe I wasn't expecting to wake up. What would have happened though? Was it something that horrible? I...

Suddenly a flurry of movement was happening around me. I couldn't see anything yet, but it did make me try to pick my head up and focus more on seeing. I blinked my eyes a couple more times and prayed I remembered how to use my neck muscles.

hat least a thousand pounds and my neck was stiff. The moment I got it off the pillow it fell back down with a painful thump. With the thump, I cringed, and I started to hear voices. It was just the voices though. Not the words they were saying. The sudden pain was to much for that.

I closed my eyes against the pain willing it to go away. I felt fingertips prodding me though. I wanted to slap them away. It hurt. It really hurt. More then I remembered...

I stopped suddenly and began to freak out again. What did I remember? It was on the tip of my tongue, the edge of my brain, but I just couldn't seem to grasp onto the memory. This freaked me out uncontrollably. That along with the fact that I finally was able to see.

I don't know how or when the blurry shapes in front of my face turned into actual objects, but they did and I dint like what I saw.

I was in a hospital.

All I saw was white. White walls. The various white machines all the annoying beeping was coming from, The bed I was lying in even had white sheets and a very uncomfortable white pillow.

Why was I in a hospital?

What happened to me?

Why can I seem to remember what a hospital looks like and is, but I cant remember a simple thing such as my name?

This terrified me.

I must have moved without being aware of it because a voice sharply told me to stay still. That freaked me out even more, and this time I was very aware of me moving, because it hurt like nothing you could imagine. "Miss, I need you to stay still," a very sharp voice spoke over the beeping.

That wasn't a problem as soon as he said it. As soon as the word "still" came out of his mouth, My body felt like it was being weighed down by led balloons and I was suddenly very sleepy. _Medicine, _my brain told me. Medicine to stop me form moving to ease the pain. Medicine was good. The only problem was that I was terrified to go to sleep. If I went to sleep, who's to say I was going to wake up and remember the little I did now? Who says I wasn't going to wake up to utter blackness, nothingness?

It didn't matter what I wanted though, I couldn't fight it. The blackness overwhelmed me within an instant.

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed! Please review with anything you have to say. Criticism, ideas, whatever. I would love to hear from you!**


	4. Chapter 4

Three days later I woke up.

Three days.

My fears of going to sleep and not remembering a thing were true the first hour or so after I opened my eyes. All I literally could imagine was blackness and that terrified me. I remembered nothing else. I mean, I knew and remembered that I was a person, a human being. I knew and remembered that I did have a name and a life but all the other stuff kept slipping away from me.

Doctors were in my face, asking me how I was feeling and if I could feel certain body parts like my toes or fingers. They asked me who I was. I told them I didn't know and after a quick glance between them, they told me.

Emily Young.

Of coarse, now, three days later, I know what the full extent of being Emily Young is. I remember everything now, as if it were yesterday. Three days ago, though, the name mystified me. Three days ago, I wondered how Emily Young ended up in the hospital in as much pain as she was in. Three days ago I didn't remember Sam Uley existed, much less anything that came along with that name. Three days ago, I didn't remember that his baby was inside of me.

I thought the doctors were crazy. I couldn't have a baby. Could I? That just seemed a little bit to out of this world for me. Then again, my own name seemed out of this world for me. Still, I thought the doctors must be confused, that I would believe them, that I was Emily Young, but they must have me confused with another pregnant patient. I tried to look for evidence that I was pregnant, a surefire way to tell was my stomach. Every time I lifted my head to try to catch a glimpse of a baby bump though, I found myself not being able to move my head at all. I shouldn't have been complaining though. If I couldn't move my body, that meant no pain. On the rare occasions that I could move my body, the last thing I was thinking about was looking at my stomach. I was more concerned with the red hot pain shooting through me, making me not want to move but thrash about all at the same time. If I thrashed about though, I quickly learned that it gave me more pain, but sometimes, I just couldn't help it. Sometimes I just had a overwhelming urge to move, like if I did, I would be connected to myself again. I quickly realized that that theory was wrong too. If anything I was losing myself to the pain more and more all the time. I was desperate though, so I kept taking advantage of the brief times medicine wasn't running through my damaged veins.

I can't pin point a time when I started to remember things on my own. I could try, but it would more then likely be wrong. I can tell you I remembered why I ended up in the hospital first. No, the doctors didn't tell me, I figured out on my own. It steamed from what I thought was just a dream. I thought I dreamed the horrific car crash when I fell asleep one time. When I woke up, I was talking to the nurse about it. "Honey, that I'm afraid that wasn't a dream."

With those words, it all came rushing back to me. Me, driving down the highway in the pouring down rain, blinded by tears. The frantic need to get away as far away from LA Push as possible, and then finally the crash itself. It started by me losing control of the car, the panic I felt in that moment the strongest memory now. I think it was only because it was the only thing that broke through the heart crushing sadness. The thought of "I'm going to die." stronger than any others. If I died, I would lose my chance of ever being with Sam again. If I died, my precious child that I gave everything up for so far would perish with me. If I died, everything I did so far would be for nothing.

My car flipped, I'm pretty sure it did anyways, that's the only way I could describe it, the only thing it felt like. I also put together that it landed in the lanes going the opposite direction from me from what the doctors said. The fact that it flipped over the concrete barrier, landed upside down and had cars crash into it, was also mystifying to me. I shouldn't be alive right now. It was against all odds, even the doctors said so. It was more then just me...the baby shouldn't be alive right now. I should have lost it as soon as I impacted. Normal people would have.

Normal people. I remembered the doctor saying it just that way. I remembering wondering what exactly makes him think I wasn't normal. What exactly _made_ me not normal? Surely other people had came into hospitals and stayed in a coma for days. That was normal, it happened everyday. Even now, today, at this moment, I am still miffed by this question. Normal was such a relative term. It was true that to the rest of the world, Emily Young was in fact not normal but the doctor wouldn't know that! The doctor wouldn't know about how I just ran away from a life that most people didn't even dream off.

Which brought me to another frightening revelation. The first thought after I got told my baby was alive and I remembered I actually had one and all that went with that, I wished it would have died.

I know it was horrible. I hate myself for thinking it, but I cant lie now and say that I didn't. My reasoning for it was selfish and simple, if I lost it, I could go back to Sam. I could go back to Sam, and he would never have to know about his dead child.

It wasn't until I thought about it more then I seen all the loopholes in the seemingly brilliant daydream. If I did return to him, he would undoubtedly want reasons as to why I left, therefore forcing me to make up a believable an intricate lie. I wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to wake up next to him everyday and look in his face knowing that our relationship was now based of a lie. For that reason, it dawned on me that no matter what happened to the baby inside of me, I could never see Sam Uley again.

After that, I was glad the baby was still alive. I started to depend on it. The many ultrasounds the doctors preformed were my lifeline. I would hold my breath until I got told that my baby had survived another couple of hours. It brought up a million questions though. Why suddenly was I wanting it to stay alive all because I realized I couldn't go back to Sam anyways? It sounded horrible to my own ears. Did I not love him or her so much so much so that...I would do this? I got to the point where I couldn't even name it anymore. I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. So then I started thinking about the other main question, what would I do if one time when the doctors came in to check the baby they told me it was dead?

That answer was overly obvious the second after I asked myself it though. I would follow soon after. It sounded horrible, but it was the truth. I would literally have nothing to live for. I guess I could build a completely new life and try to forget all about the old one, but it seemed pointless. What else could possibly be waiting for me in this world? I wouldn't find my soul mate if I kept on living. I already did that. I already found him and managed to lose him all in a matter of a couple years. Of coarse I could always go and meet the next soul mate up, but what would be the point of that? I would just find some way to mess it up. It was inevitable. The world would be a happier place if I followed my dead child. I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else.

)()()(

It wasn't until after I was quite sure that I wouldn't have to find some way to die in a hospital under close supervision then I started caring about the more mundane details of my situation. The most pressing one was where I ended up. I asked my red headed nurse that one day after I work up from a morphine induced nap and she was lifting my gown carefully to prepare my stomach for yet another precautionary ultrasound. Those were the exact words I used too, "Where exactly did I end up?" I asked weakly and curiously.

The nurse, Sarah looked up at me with her pretty brown eyes. "You're in Bremerton." She spoke gently. "Bremerton, Washington at Harrison Medical Center."

I blinked a few times, the words meaning nothing to me at first. In fact, the first thing I registered was that I was still in Washington. That was a shame, out of state would be better. At first Bremerton didn't sound familiar to me, but as I thought about it, it did. It was a tiny peninsula town east of Forks. It wasn't an Indian reservation, but had its fair share of natives. None of them seemed to be working here though has I haven't saw a single one. "How...how far away are we from Forks?" I asked. Forks was more likely to be known then LA Push, Besides, I could figure it out from there.

Sarah looked at me curiously. "About two on a half hours, I think." She studied me. "Why? Is that where you were headed, honey?"

Two in a half hours. So that means about three hours from the reservation. How long will it take a wolf to run the same distance a car can go in three hours? I huffed in frustration, probably less then three hours. I looked up at Sarah again. "Yeah, somewhere around there." I lied smoothly.

Her face turned from curious to sympathetic. "You'll get there soon. You are already recovering extremely well."

That would be nice, I wanted to tell her, if I was actually going there. It would be nice if I had anywhere to go. It would also be nice if I had something to get me someplace, and I wanted to point that out to her. It was as if she forgot she was dealing with the patient that totaled her car and as far as the doctors know have no living relatives close by.

That was a very deep crack on the surface, when they asked me about emergency contacts. Of coarse, they already hunted for some while I was unconscious, but was only able to locate...well, nobody. That was strange, I thought they told me about somebody. It was the first time I woke up, and I barely remember it, but I was a hundred percent sure that they did.

I panicked. Who was it? It better not be...but it wasn't, was it? I had nothing to tie myself to Sam, no documents with his name on it and I even slid our engagement off before I crashed the car. It was probably lying in some junkyard by now. No...they had no way of knowing about my ex fiancee. I took a deep breath to calm down. If they didn't know about Sam though, they had to find someone didn't they? I mean, it was unlike hospitals to let a mortally wounded woman and her unborn child stay without at least finding some family member that can take care of them after she was released. If anyone, it would be me who knew, from when Sam hurt me years ago. Of coarse back then I had people who were with me at the hospital, but it was still initially the same thing.

Maybe they still thought I was to unstable to ask. That was just as well though, If they asked, I wouldn't tell them easily. I couldn't. I didn't have ties to anyone except the pack. They were literally my whole life. The doctors wouldn't take that though, I knew they wouldn't. But...we would just heave to worry about that later.

I squirmed when the nurse put the ultra sound gel on my stomach. The coldness always surprised me, no matter how many times it was put on me and even if it was immensely painful to move, I still moved. It was like I couldn't help it. "Owww" I whimpered, frowning at the IV in my hand. Wasn't it pumping enough morphine or whatever they were putting in my system? I honesty didn't know what exactly was taking my pain away. They told me once, but I was too out of it to remember, kind of like the family thing.

Sarah frowned at the machines besides me. "You in pain, honey?" She sympathetically asked and fiddled with the machine after she thoroughly rubbed the gel all over my stomach. "Here you go." She told me after a couple moments, and once the medicine invaded my bloodstream, I started to feel a little bit better. "That's it, sweetie." Sarah offered me a warm smile as she walked down to my stomach again and preformed the ultrasound.

The baby was healthy still. Was part of me wishing it wasn't? I huffed in frustration. Sarah noticed as she started towards the door. "Ms. Young?" She looked back at me in concern.

"No, I'm fine. You can go." I told her and tired to smile convincingly. Thank goodness for medicine. It it wasn't for it, it wouldn't be even remotely thinking about smiling, or talking for that matter. It would hurt too much.

Sarah paused in the doorway. "Should I call the doctor?" She frowned.

"No, no. I'm fine." I told her sleepily. Well fine psychically. Fine in the way the hospital cared about. Mentally? I wasn't doing so great.

Sarah nodded slowly and she slipped out of the room, leaving me to drift off to sleep in peace, what always seemed to happen after I got a dose of medicine.

)()()(

_I was pregnant._

_Hugely pregnant. _

_I looked like a beach-ball. Especially in my dark purple sundress. My feet were bare and the afternoon light shined down from where I was standing just off the front porch. _

_"Hey baby."_

_The voice was husky and right in my ear. Hands snaked around my middle, caressing our unborn child. _

_"Hey." I responded, tilting my face up for a kiss. _

_I got it, deeply. After he was finished, he broke away and stared down at me lovingly. "Your beautiful." He reminded me and kissed my scars. After he gazed down at my lovingly for a few more minutes, he took my hand and led me back inside the house. "Shut your eyes." He commanded gently._

_I listened, shutting them firmly and trusting him completely as he led me up the stairs and down the hall. "Ready for your surprise, Em?" He asked, and then chuckled. _

_I nodded. _

_"Open your eyes then."_

_I did. We were standing in the doorway of what was to be made the baby nursery. The fully furnished nursery. The fully furnished nursery that wasn't furnished an hour before. I gazed up at Sam with wonder and thanks._

_He chuckled. "The boys and I did it while you were gone." He kissed my temple. "Come look."_

_I let him lead me in the room as I gazed around. The walls were a soft white, almost bluish color, matching the curtains I picked out with Sam at the store last week. My bare feet were cushioned by a slightly bluer area rug that had a dark wood crib on top of it. A matching dresser and changing table were against the wall with the window that looked out into the forest. I took a couple seconds to stare wistfully out it, a familiar pang in my heart. _

_"Like it, Emily?" Sam whispered in my ear. _

_I nodded and took a couple steps to reach out and touch the crib and its white bedding. "This is real." I muttered. "This is really happening. We're going to have a child, Sam."_

_He chuckled and followed me to slip his arms around me again. "We are having a child since eight months ago, and you just realized it now?" He patted my stomach gently. "Here that little buddy? Mommy just found out about you." He joked, cooing to my stomach._

_I gave him a look. "Little Buddy?" I asked. "So you already decided it's a boy?"_

_Sam grinned impishly. "No." He shook his head. "She may be Daddy's little princess."_

_I smiled. "That's more like it." I took a hand and let it travel up his cheekbone. _

_"Hmmmm." He moaned and turned me around taking my face in his hands."I'm so glad you came back to me Emily."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Sam's POV:**

I phased back in the woods just behind the house, pulling my cut offs on my hips. It had been a long hard patrol and I spent all of it anxious to get home to take care of Emily. She was making it seem like her being sick wasn't a big deal when it was, and that alone worried the hell out of me. She has been trying to hide it, but its been going on and off for weeks. Why wouldn't she think I wouldn't notice? I notice everything about her. I figured out for myself that it was nothing serious, and that was the only reason I left her today. She was awake most of the night, and I knew this because I was awake watching her most of the night. Something was keeping my sweet sweet Emily awake and it bugged me to no end that I didn't know exactly what it was. She wanted me to believe she was sleeping so I didn't dare speak to her until I slid out of bed this morning. I would ask her as soon as I got a chance too, Because so help me, she better be asleep when I got in there. I knew my Emily though, and she wouldn't be. She would have specifically stayed up to wait on me. That thought alone pushed me to pick up my legs faster to carry me in the house.

The sliding glass door shut against the rain with a thump as I wiped my bare feet on the mat on the floor. "Emily?" I started to call even before the door closed all the way. "Sweetie? I'm home." I peered at the empty kitchen, expecting her to be cooking something...but she wasn't.

Maybe she actually was doing what she was suppose to be doing. Without another thought, I breezed through the otherwise empty downstairs and started climbing to stairs, desperate to see her sleeping peacefully in our bed. "Sweetheart?" I rounded the corner and saw our open door and walked in. I took a couple steps in before I saw the utterly empty bed. I gripped behind me at the door frame as my breathing accelerated. "Emily!" Quick as lightening, I flew out of the room and took the stairs three at a time back downstairs. "Em? Sweetheart?" I started checking every room, freaking out so bad that I didn't realize I could just stand in one room and hear if he was in the house.

In minutes I had every room thoroughly checked and came to the crushing realization that she wasn't anywhere in the house. I quickly opened the front door to check if her car was in the driveway. It wasn't.

_She probably just had a few errands to run, its no big deal, she'll come back. _

She ran errands yesterday though. Besides the fact, She's sick! I growled at my imprints utter lack of concern for her well being. The groceries or whatever else she had to do can wait! I let loose another growl as I paced with worry. What if she got sick behind wheel? What if she passed out from not sleeping last night? The possibilities were endless and I wouldn't stop thinking of them until she was home, in my arms.

I was hungry, but knew without a doubt that I couldn't eat, at least not until I knew she was safe. I sulked into the kitchen anyways, pulling out a chair at the table and sitting in it forcing myself to keep still. I didn't know why I didn't phase and go out and look for her, but that point was moot anyways when I looked to see what my hand was crushing. I had just crumpled a piece of paper. I winced, picking it up. I hope it was nothing important of Emily's, but then again, she didn't normally leave pieces of paper laying around. I scooted my chair backward to toss it in the garbage can, but then something started nagging at me, telling me to check it first. I opened it back up carefully .

Dear Sam, it said.

What the hell? Where the hell was Emily? I gripped the paper, shaking violently already.

Before I got half way through the note, I started phasing. I could feel it, but my eyes still couldn't leave the page with my death sentence on it. One I got to the last words though, all bets were off and I phased right then and there in the kitchen, probably destroying half of it during the process. I didn't care though. Nobody would care. Nobody was going to come back to it. Nobody was going to cook it in. Nobody was going to kiss in it. Nobody was going to eat in it or talk in it, or laugh in it. Nobody was going to step foot in it ever again.

The last words I read were, Forever yours, Emily.

)()()(

**Emily's POV**

"She's sleeping." A voice murmured. A familiar voice.

"Then we should probably leave her be." A deep mans voice suggested. "Shes probably sleeping off the medicine. It has that effect on people."

I was expecting the familiar voice to answer but instead I heard another smaller, even more familiar voice. "Emiwy!" It shouted, sounding very out of place with the other's hushed voices. "Momma , look! Its Aunt Emiwy!"

At that voice, I opened my eyes. What I saw amazed me at first. Tiny Claire had just rounded the corner to my hospital room, gripping her fathers, my sisters husbands, hand. Her tiny four year old face was alight with wonder when she layed eyes on me and squealed.

Claire? I panicked for a moment. Why is Claire here? Was I...Was I still in La Push? Was this whole car accident a dream? I was still in the hospital though, that was extremely obvious, and as I lifted my head, it was also extremely obvious that I was in pain. Maybe Claire was the dream. I narrowed my eyes at her. Maybe it was my subconscious's way of dealing with already missing my home immensely.

"Shh." The familiar voice spoke. "Auntie's sleeping."

At the sound of the voice, I turned my head and looked for who it actually belonged too. I gaped. It was my sister! How was that possible, did she come to pick up Claire?

"Not anymore." The deep voice answered when he noticed my gasp. "How are you feeling, Miss Young?" A doctor, the owner of the voice stepped into my view.

The first thing that I noticed was that he was tall. Not quite as tall as Sam, but tall all the same. Medium brown hair covered his head which was spiked halfheartedly, or maybe it was falling down from a long day of work, I couldn't be sure. His brown eyes did look tired, so maybe it was the latter.

"Fine." I answered. My voice sounded weak and raspy to my own ears.

The doctor chuckled. "Are you sure about that?" He walked to poke around the machines at my bedside, muttering to himself. After they passed his inspection, he turned back to me. "I'm Micheal Davis by the way. I'll be the one keeping an eye on you for the next few days." He reached out as if to shake my hand, but soon figured out it probably wasn't the best thing to.

My response was to blink a couple times. Was this my new doctor? Did...was he here earlier? Yesterday? I squinted my eyes, trying to remember, but all who was in my memory was Sarah.

"You have some visitors." The doctor moved away from my bedside to reveal my sister standing right behind him and Mark, her husband standing right behind her holding a wiggly Claire in his arms who didn't look to happy to be up there. My sister, Amy, pushed past him the second he stepped away. "Emily!" She exclaimed. "Oh, god. Are you okay?"

I wanted to ask her if I looked okay to her, but then again, I understood why she asked it. There was just no other way to ask.

"Yeah." I answered and smiled weakly which hurt so I stopped quickly.

"No you're not." She frowned and her hand flew over me uselessly.

"Well, would you be?" Her husband said what I was thinking for me with a sort chuckle.

"Aunty Emmy!" Claire screeched and squirmed more at her fathers voice.

I wanted nothing more then to open my arms for her, and cuddle with her. I wanted to tell her I was going to be alright even more. I wanted to tell her that she was going to have a new baby to play with soon. Those two things would be a lie though. I wasn't going to be alright and she probably wasn't going to ever see my baby. I winced.

"Ms Young?" the doctor, Micheal, perceived it as out of pain and scurried to check my IV's again.

"Fine..." I mumbled as I felt a whoosh of medicine I didn't need flow through my veins.

"No you're not." Amy repeated, looking stressed.

"Actually, as I told you a couple minutes ago, Ms Young is doing quite fine." The Doctor assured. "We're actually to the point of thinking about starting her on solid food today. Can't have her and the baby living off of IV fluids for the rest of their lives."

Solid food. I smiled a little. Up until today I wouldn't even think about trying to chew solid food but as the doctor said that, I moved my jaw experimentally, and nodded with the satisfaction that I could attempt to chew. IV fluids cant be all great for a fetus and I was increasingly worried about that everyday.

As I turned my head to lay eyes on my sister again, it dawned on me. He said baby. He told my sister I was having a baby. She couldn't know that! This was never the plan! How was I going to explain that just did the most terrible thing someone could do? Sam and the rest of them already hates me, and my relationship with Amy wasn't that great anyways, so I cant let her think that I am horrible even if the relationship is going to be completely gone by the time she walks out of this hospital. The horrible part wasn't as important as the chance she will got to the reservation and tell Sam part.

My sister and Sam had never been on good terms. How could they be when they only met a handful of times? Sam didn't like my sister only because she was so cold to me after I moved in with him. I knew why, on both of their accounts. Amy never really supported my decision to be with Sam. Of coarse, she only human and doesn't know the whole imprinting part of it, but even if she did, I highly doubt her mind would change. She never was that close to Leah either, at least not as close as her and I were, but she was close enough to her to see that her and Sam were probably the happiest couple we knew back then. She imagine her surprise when she got told Sam and Leah mutually separated and suddenly I was dating him? I don't think she believes it. I think she knows there's more to the story and is being so cold because shes being kept in the dark. Sam's problem is the fact that she's doing this just reminds him of his father way to much. He told me countless time before that he hates siting and watching it happen to me and I try to assure him it's not that bad, that at least Amy and I still talk. But the truth was that I wish we would talk a lot more, that we would see eachother a lot more, that we would actually be like sister's. Sam see's that. So while he's always civil to Amy a small part of her dislikes her, hates her even for hurting me.

"Yeah, that's good." Amy nodded, seeming to calm down. She turned to me with a frown. "Yes, Emily, Why didn't you tell me you and Sam were having a baby?"

I winced away at the question as time seemed to stop moving for a split second. I had to think of what to say, but I couldn't. My mind went numb. And in it, I imagined everybody, including the doctor giving me suspicious glares. "I...it's not Sams!" I blurted out. Before I was even consciously aware that I was doing it.

Okay, so I lied. As a general rule, Emily Young does not lie. Desperate times calls for desperate measure I guess. It was either this or risking my child, and we already established the fact that I would do anything for it. Amy wouldn't know any different. We hadn't talked to eachother in probably about three months really, and anything could happen in that amount of time.

"Not Sam's?" The reaction was shock, as I expected. No matter what she knew, or didn't, it would still come as a surprise. She knew Sam and I were happy.

I shook my head. "We...ended it." This was the point I was starting to get uncomfortable. Ironic wasn't it? This was the point where it really wasn't a lie. We did end it. Not mutually, but ended it all the same.

"And...you got pregnant by the first guy you saw?" By now Amy was sitting on the edge of my bed. Her brown eyes bore into mine and as I looked into them, I was reminded of the times I used to get home from school back when we were kids and our parents weren't home. More often then not, I would be upset up something to do with bullies. Amy would have to leave either her own homework or TV and chase me up to my room to talk to me. The way her brown eyes used to look into mine in her first step in calming me down was exactly the same.

My eyes filled with tears. Maybe they were tears for feeling guilty for lying, or maybe they were tears from the memory, or maybe a little bit of both but either way, they seemed to frighten Amy a little. I nodded. What else could I do? It wasn't like I had an actual guy to back my lie up with if I told her I was in another relationship.

"Oh, honey..." Amy frowned.

I couldn't look at her anymore, so I glanced away and noticed with slight surprise that The doctor, Claire and Mark had disappeared to give us some privacy. That was just as well though. I wasn't thinking about Claire, who had just been visiting the reservation last week who knew for a fact that "Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily" were still together. I nodded, looking back at her.

"Funny, Quil didn't say anything to me about this..."

I cringed. Did she really think that now was an appropriate time to throw that she talks to Quil, someone she barely knows more then her own sister? "Maybe he thought it wasn't his place to say." I responded softly. It wouldn't have been and I would hope if the situation was actually real, he wouldn't say anything.

Amy just simply nodded, leading as into awkward silence. I expected her to ask more questions, like any normal person would do, but apparently she wasn't normal, or just simply didn't care. "I'll...go get Doctor Davis."

"Okay." I agreed, hurt that she didn't ask anymore questions, but relieved all the same.

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but after a bout of writers block, I'm back! As always, thanks for reading leave me a review! Hope you enjoyed! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know its been a really long time since I gave you guys a update and I'm really sorry about that. But I'm back on the ball and I know this chapter is short, but your patience will be rewarded next chapter. Thank you all for sticking with me through this. As always leave me a review or PM with comment, questions or suggestions! **

**Chapter 6-**

How good is a sister who leaves you in a hospital after you just told her that you were pregnant with a guy you will never see's again baby when your stuck with nowhere to go? But then again, how good is a person who has told about fifty lies in the past two days? Did I deserve to have Amy stay? No. Would it be nice to have her stay and acknowledge that when I got better I would need at least the tiniest bit of help to get my life back together? Yes. That was what sisters did. Unconditional love. Then again, that's what imprintees were suppose to so I guess my argument was invalid.

Like normal.

Hypocritical statements aside, she took Claire and her husband and went back home with only a promise to call and check in, and I was still stuck here.

Yes of coarse it didn't escape my attention that the doctors, especially Doctor Davis didn't discuss it but it didn't strike me as weird as it would other people. I guess it just assumed he assumed that my sister was going to come back and pick me up.

That was a joke. I'm sorry, maybe that's mean, but it was a joke. Just the simple fact that she left me with what I told her, lie or not, meant that she didn't really care. She would rather live in her perfect fantasy world then to deal with me and things she didn't understand.

"Emily?" A voice broke me out of my reverie.

I gasped a little, looking up and then winced, a tell tale sign that It was time for more medication. The thought alone made me wince. I really couldn't wait until I could go without it. Dr Davis was off on one side of my bed jiggling machines and IV's around.

He offered a smile as when he saw he had my attention. "Thinking about something?"

I lifted my arm to brush my greasy hair out of my face and half of me wondered when I would be able to shower. "Sort of." I admitted as I felt the rush of a dose of medication in my bloodstream.

"Hmmm..." He fiddled with the machinery for a couple more seconds and then walked closer to my bedside. "As I keep saying, you're recovering really well, beyond expectations really."

"It doesn't seem like it." I grumbled accidentally letting some of my pure annoyance and grumpiness seep through. "This thing is getting annoying." I gestured to the end of the IV hidden underneath the thick bandages on my hand.

"You should be able to get away with going without the food IV in a couple days." He grinned at me like the statement and that statement alone made me wrong. "You are eating more and more solids each day, Ms Young, but we need to keep the medicine drip in you anyways. And yes, trust me, I know how annoying they can be."

I marveled at him for a few seconds. "No you don't." I shook my head slightly. "Trust me, until you have them in your hands for days on end, you don't know how annoying they are."

He chuckled. "How are you so sure that I haven't?"

I sighed. "I don't even know how I'm sure of anything." I layed my head back against the pillow and brought a hand up to caress my baby underneath my skin. "But you are a doctor so I'm guessing you aren't as big as an idiot as me and crashed a car or did anything else that gave you a life threatening injury."

"Yes, because all doctors are perfect, right?" He raised an eyebrow. "And technically I'm not a doctor yet. I'm just doing my residency. Your real doctor is Doctor Mallard. Just between you and me, he is old and cranky and your lucky you have me."

That got a chuckle out of me as he mocked whispered the last part. "Doctors aren't suppose to say that either. Couldn't you get fired or something?" Even as I was laying here saying it, this conversation seemed surreal.

He shrugged. "I probably could. But said doctor isn't here right now is he? What he doesn't know cant hurt him. At least that's what I always say."

I laughed weakly this time. "You're a weird doctor."

"Almost doctor." He corrected. "And you, my beautiful patient, are starting to get loopy from your medication so how do you know that I'm really weird? Maybe I'm perfectly normal."

"Hmmm..." I could feel my eyes start to close as he said it. "Maybe, I guess I have to see once the medicine wears off. You seemed pretty normal when Amy was here."

"Did I?" He still sounded amused.

I nodded.

"May I ask what makes a person normal, then?"

"Hmmmm..." I pursed my lips in thought. "'Um...actually there's no such thing as normal as I learned throughout my life."

"Oh?" He looked really into the conversation when I opened my eyes to look at him. "So your not normal then either?"

If I wasn't laying down, I would have shrugged. "I'm more normal then some of the other thing I've saw." I winced just because of what I was referring to.

"You and me both." He agreed.

I eternally rolled my eyes. Somehow I highly doubted it.

"Normals overrated anyways." He chuckled as if to himself. "As is being a reckless doctor

apparently. Even though, I feel like I should point out, I spent my weeks of IV's in my hand _before_ I even thought about being a doctor."

"_Weeks_?" My eyes closed again but I re opened them at this. "What did you do that you ended up in the hospital for _weeks_?"

He chuckled more. "You sound like nobody ever ends up in the hospital for weeks."

"Its not a common occurrence." I was working hard to keep my eyes open now.

"But you are going to be stuck in here for weeks."

I glared at him. "I thought you said I was getting better."

"You are." He nodded. "But even still you already have been in here for a week. And you'll be surprised about how many patients are stuck in here for weeks. I mean, What about the children with cancer? We have a pretty extensive cancer unit here and what about-"

"Okay, okay, I get your point." I grumbled, eyes shutting again. "What were you doing in the hospital for that long?"

He was silent for a couple minutes in witch I almost drifted off. "Maybe I'll tell you when you wake up, Emily."

"Wait, did he just call me beautiful?" I think I started asking before he finished his last sentence.

The last thing I heard before I completely drifted off was another one of his chuckles.


	7. Chapter 7

When I woke up the first thing I remembered was Dr Davis. It was concerning to say the least. Normally, the first thing I thought about was the baby or Sam, or my problematic future, but today the first thing was I thought of was my doctors chuckle. Oh, wait, excuse me, my _almost _doctors smile, as he calls himself. The little smile on my lips was completely foreign to me so I worked hard to wipe it off.

"Someone just woke up happy."

The voice startled me and I looked around wildly. Well, as wildly as I could anyways.

Sarah, the nurse, laughed. "It's good to see you in a such a good mood, normally you look so down in the dumps that I worry about you." She finished checking the IV drip and walked the length of the bed.

"Not that down in the dumps." I protested.

She raised her eyebrows. "Down in the dumps enough. You should see yourself sometimes. Its bad for the baby to be so depressed you know."

I frowned. "It was bad for the baby to get in the car accident."

"Ah." She held up a finger. "But you couldn't control getting in the car accident, but you _can _control your happiness."

"Sometimes." I admitted. "But not always." I frowned thinking of How I couldn't control leaving Sam. That I was left with no other option.

"Oh no, there's that frown again." As I stared up at Sarah, I noticed that she had the habit of playing with the ends of her ponytail. "Quick, think of whatever you were thinking of when you woke up. This is a no frown allowed zone."

She was trying to make me laugh. We both knew it and we both knew it was probably not going to work this time seeing as when I thought of Dr. Davis now it just led to confusion as to why the one conversation we had yesterday made me so happy. No, instead of laughing, I asked her a question curiously. "Tell me...can you tell me about yourself, Sarah?"

She wasn't expecting that, it was apparent. "Um..." She glanced at the clock. "I have other patients and I have to go back and get you your breakfast."

That made me frown more. "Oh...okay."

She appraised me for a minute and let out a tiny sigh. "Okay." She glanced at the clock as she said it. "Let me go get your breakfast and try to get another nurse to cover the rest of my rounds and then we can talk."

)()()(

She came back rather quickly with a tray off three small bowls and an apple. I watched her as she came through the door with a smile as she progressed in the room and put the tray on the table connected to my bed and swung it over above my lap after she sat me up. "Oatmeal, cereal, or eggs." She pointed to each respective one. "Try to eat at least one."

I nodded. "Okay." It seemed like a pretty easy task. I picked up a spoon and dipped it into the oatmeal first and brought it up to my mouth, IV cords tugging. It slid past my lips hot and down my throat the exact same way. Warmth wasn't the issue though, it was chewing things that was. You didn't have to really chew oatmeal, well, unless Paul made it, so I was good. I smiled a little at the mental image of Paul making oatmeal, but then frowned, shaking it away and focusing back on Sarah.

"Good girl." She nodded like I was some kind of dog or something. "We have to keep your strength up for-"

"I want a shower." I blurted.

My interruption caught her off guard.

"I stink." I frowned. "To be blunt and everything. I mean, I know I was psychically unable to take one earlier but I...I'm getting much better. And I know patients aren't suppose to um...blurt out stuff like that but I really really need one."

Sarah blinked at me a few times. "Shower..." She nodded. "That's a perfectly reasonable request. We can work on that."

I was almost relieved. "Thank you." It was like I let go of the breath I was holding for several minutes. So much of myself was residing on the shower. Okay, without a doubt, I needed one but still, it wasn't as dire as I was making it seem like. It wasn't like I was going to die if I didn't get one, so why was I treating it that way. Who really cared if I stank here or not? Hospital patients are suppose to stink, weren't they? The doctors expected it.

"Breakfast first though." She indicated the tray, prompting me to eat more.

I brought a spoonful of oatmeal up to my lips again.

She smiled. "Okay, Emily. What do you want to know?" She shifted in her chair.

I blinked at her for a couple seconds. I almost forgot why she was in here. "Oh." I forced myself to smile again. "Um... I don't know, anything. Why did you become a nurse?"

Sarah laughed. "Do you know how many people have asked me that in the past four years? It's like it's a twenty four-seven job interview."

I chuckled a little. "Sorry. You don't want have to answer if you don't want to."

"I wanted to help people." She blurted and laughed. "That's the obvious answer isn't it?" She scoffed and shook her head. "Well, its not the truth, well not the whole truth anyways."

The way she said it made me frown. She was right. That was the most common answer to my question. She could have left it like that but she didn't, which was a surefire clue to me that she needed someone to talk to as much as I did. "But that's what you always tell people? That you wanted to help people?" I ate some more of my oatmeal.

She nodded. "Well it is the truth. Partly. I love doing this. Don't take it the wrong way. I love being able to help people. I begged my butt off for someone to take the rest of my rounds so that I could talk to you all because I knew it will help you. My whole life is around helping people but...when people ask me that question, I always withhold the, well, probably the most important part of it. Do you want to know what it is?"

All I could do was nod.

Sarah seemed to take a breath, preparing herself. "I became a nurse so I didn't have to go into real estate like my parents."

I don't know what I was expecting. Some great big long explanation? A sob story about how her grandfather died from cancer and the nurses that took care of him inspired her? But she became a nurse so that she didn't have to do real estate? That's a new one. Most of these cases were the parents wanted them to became something successful like a lawyer or a doctor and they wanted their high school garage band to make it big. "Real estate..." I said softly, musing.

"Its a family business." Sarah explained. "My grandparents and parents are both in it and ever since I was seven years old that's was what got drilled in my head that I had to be. I had to spend my life selling overpriced houses in pantsuits and high heels. I had to become a spitting image of my high maintenance controlling mother, everything I didn't want to be, ever. And high does real estate help people? Sure, it does a little bit I suppose it does, I mean everybody needs a house, but, nursing saves lives, and the stupidest part of it is my parents don't understand that."

As she finished, I stared at her for a few moments. Her brown eyes were on fire, burning bright with ambition and just a little bit of hatred in them, and as I kept on staring, embarrassment.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I got carried away. Forget I said anything..."

"No, no." I shook my head a little, smiling to reassure her. "You didn't go to far..."

"Yes, I did." She argued, looking frightened and starting to get up. "I'm so sorry, Emily. I should be getting back to the other patients. I...I'll come back later to collect your breakfast."

I faltered, wide eyed for a second. "No." I reached out. "Stay." As I put my arm down my elbow banged painfully on my tray. "I...I have no problems with people-you venting to me, I really don't. Its kind of what I do. I should be a counselor or something. Well...at least its what I used to do...I kind of miss it." I frowned as I thought of Kim and Rachel this time.

Sarah appraised me for a couple minutes all while looking like she was going to cry. All of the sudden, she hesitantly took a step back towards the chair. "Its your turn." She said softly. "Tell me something about your life. Its not fair that I'm the one doing all the talking here."

I smiled, open my mouth and then hesitated. Was this a trick question? Part of my mind automatically went to that was why she was allowed to skip the rest of her patients to talk to me. Someone told her to try to find out about me. As I sat there with my moth open, though, I realized that it didn't really matter, and that I desperately wanted to hear the rest of her story. "Fair enough." I nodded, smiling. "Um...what do you want to know?"

She sat back down. "I'm not sure...anything." She shrugged. "Were you- were you trying to have a baby? Or was it...a surprise?"

She obviously didn't hear what I told my sister the other day. "A...a surprise." As I said it, I frowned and panicked, afraid to get my own story wrong.

Sarah nodded, but didn't say anything, So I took that as a cue to go on. As I opened my mouth though, my brain couldn't come up with anymore to tell her though.

I didn't have to worry about that for long though, since she seemed to figure it out by herself. "You said you helped people a lot...did you have a lot of friends?"

"I liked to think of them more like family." I smiled thinking of them. "My...fiancee and I were like, the cool ones I guess, all the boys he knew from...school and their girlfriends would come talk to us. It was...a perfect life. For me, I mean. See? I was shy in high school, never made many friends so when I meant Sam and got brought into his lifestyle, I realized what I was missing"

"Was?" Sarah picked up on the key word. Of coarse she would.

I sighed, close to tears but refusing to cry. "Was." I nodded.

Time seemed to stop for a lot more then just a couple minutes. It was surreal. I felt like I was in a movie and the director just shouted at us to freeze, but then got distracted and didn't tell us to start the scene back up. Finally, Sarah offered me this sad sort of chuckle. "Was." She nodded again. "You know, at first I would automatically come up with something like you two were trying to be careful but then one night...you just weren't and that's all it took. " She shrugged a little. "So naturally when you told him, he freaked out and dumped you in front of all your friends, leaving you and his unborn child to drive down the highway in that storm. But, we just got done saying how the obvious or most commonly used explanation are not always correct so...what happened?"

I couldn't decide if I loved or hated her at that moment. "Actually," I started in a shaky voice. "That's sort of...exactly how it happened."

I also couldn't decide if my shaky voice helped or hindered my cause. Did It add to my distress about the situation? Or did it give away the point blank lie? It didn't seemed to be the latter as Sarah nodded sympathetically.

She stayed in my room a good thirty minutes after that, getting me to open up about more then I've ever thought I would give up. I found myself telling her stories about how I was trying to teach Rachel how to cook and how she was hopeless in the kitchen to the boys utter hatred of my tiny flower garden I planted in the backyard. I cried all the way through without caring. These were actual real stories, not lies, so correct me if I was wrong, but I had a right to cry. Sarah's calm composure and sympathetic clucks set me off more as the minutes ticked by. I kept waiting for someone to burst in the room and break our sob fest up, but it didn't happen. In fact, I was to the point in thinking it was never going to happen when a red headed nurse poked her head in to retrieve Sarah for some emergency room work.

**A/N: This was a really hard chapter to write for some reason and I apologize for the shortness. It was either have it be sort or not give you guys an update until who knows when? which would you guys rather have? I know I'm wishy washy either way so I couldn't really decide. Leave me a comment in a review or PM. Hope you all enjoyed!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sam's Pov-**

_"__Sam!"_ I was aware of the voice in my head. "Sam, Sam, Sam." I kept calling every few minutes. _"Sam! God dammit! I know you can hear me!"_

Yes, I heard them, him, whoever he was. I was beyond the point of picking out voices. Way beyond it, and its only been a week.

_"__Its Jared." _The voice in my mind said irritably. _"Your best friend. Remember me? Remember the pack?"_

No, Emily. Emily was the only one that mattered. Emily. I had to find Emily.

Jared sighed, or made an annoying sound like it. Some point of my mind wondered why he seemed so irritated. He was a shape shifter! He knew what it was like. He knew what could have happened since the beginning! He understood! And he also knew that the only reason that I wasn't dead was that I knew, I could feel that Emily was still out there alive somewhere and that she still loved me. That and that alone was the one and only reason why I wasn't already dead.

_"__Sam..."_

_"__What if it was Kim?!" I shot out rashly. "What if it was Kim?! What would you do?!"_

There was no response for a considerable amount of time. Absolutely nothing. Good. I didn't understand why they just couldn't leave me the hell alone. They tried the whole 'they need their alpha' thing but that was a load of crap. Someone else could take it. I wasn't the real alpha anyways. I never was and I never will be. They could all stop phasing for all I care. Go find some bloodsuckers and let themselves die. They could let the whole village die. I didn't fricken care. If the village didn't have Emily, what else was good to live for?

_"__I would die."_ Came Jared's response finally. _"I would die, kill myself. But you know what? That would be okay. At least I would be escaping my own pain then. At least I wouldn't be bringing the whole pack down with me, making them feel like they just lost their own imprints when they are sitting right in front of them!"_

I cringed, a rare reaction from me as I normally wasn't aware of my reactions. Another thing that was rare was that I actually knew what he was talking about. A couple of days ago, or was it this morning? I didn't know, keeping track of time didn't seem important to me now. No matter when it was, Jared cam home after a double patrol to Kim, who made a severe effort to make him dinner. As Jared sat down at the table, he started crying looking at her, which frightened her a great bit, as she did absolutely nothing wrong. After so many times of him telling her this, she got mad at him thinking that he was lying and stalked off. His mind couldn't take that even though he knew she wasn't leaving so I almost had a partner on my side off the depressed line. Luckily, Paul and Jacob pulled him out of it quickly though while they sent Collin to go explain exactly why he was crying to Kim.

_"__Yeah, and you want to know the worse part?" Jared's_ voice broke through again_. "You should feel bad about that. I almost lost my imprint all because of you, but...you don't. You don't feel anything about it at all."_

Was I even suppose to? Just the fact that he said it meant that I was but...he was right, I didn't feel anything about it at all. Bad. I remember what it was like to feel bad about something at least. I felt bad about whatever made Emily leave me. I felt bad about...

"_Abandoning the pack? Abandoning the village? Your friends? Your mother? Emily's friends? Anything?"_

Jared's voice was getting annoying.

_"__You're hopeless, Sam." _Came his response.

Yeah, I knew I was. What was his point? I became hopeless the minute I came home and found Emily missing. She told me she was sick! I believed her! Why would she lie to me?! Part of me knew I should be mad at her for that, for lying to me. Part of me remembers to way back when in school while I was dating Leah, I would have got mad at Leah for lying to me. I couldn't get mad at Emily for anything though. That was sort of the point of imprinting, right? I wasn't even mad at her for leaving. I would find her, because I could feel she was still out there and make everything okay again.

_"__What if you can't make everything okay again?" _

I stopped short, aware that I just shot mud all over myself.

_"__Don't say that!" _I let out a ferocious growl that scared more animals that I could count. "_I can always make everything okay for my Emily! That's why she's my Emily!" _

Jared didn't respond in words to that. He wanted to, but he was just so stunned to form then in his mind. There was doubt. A lot of doubt, which I picked up right away and caused me to let loose a couple more growls. Then he started doing what everybody did a thousand times already. He started picking through my mind to see if he could find why Emily left. He wouldn't find anything. Nobody else was able to, including myself. Everything was perfect. Everything was fricken perfect. Of coarse I knew there was something off about my sweet Emily, but I thought it was just exhaustion. It made sense. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with eleven wolves appetites? I do. That's why I had been even more protective of her the last couple weeks. That's why I would stay up at night to make sure she was sleeping. Yeah, I was exhausted, but it was my Emily we were talking about here.

My Emily.

My Emily.

My Emily.

_"__And she will always be your Emily." _

It took me a couple minutes to realize that it wasn't Jared's voice.

_"__No. Its Seth."_ He seemed just as irritated as Jared. 

_"__You think?" He snorted. "Now why would we be irritated, Sam? It wouldnt be because not only do we have to do regular patrols, and someone has to cover your shift, but now we have 'Sam babysitting' patrol. Come on, Sam. You used to have to do that for me when you guys were training me, aren't you just the tiniest bit embarrassed?" _

_"__EMILY'S GONE!" I howled. _

_Why doesn't anyone realize that nothing else matters right now? Embarrassment, feeling bad, pride, selfishness, even being human didn't matter and never will unless I have Emily back in my arms. _

_"__This is why I never want to imprint." Seth's voice was small. "Everyone says its so great and joyful and everything, but eventually, it just turns you into a monster, if it doesn't when you first do it."_

Seth just called me a monster.

Part of me said I should probably care about that. Part of me actually did care. Part of me thought that when I found Emily and returned back to the pack, it was going to be a problem if they all thought I was a monster. Why would anyone want a monster leading the pack?

_"__Why would anyone want a monster for a friend?"_

Nobody cared right now of coarse.

_"__Of course not." _Seth rolled his eyes. _"Nobody cares about anything do they?"_

That was not true!

_"__Oh, wait...Emily. I forgot." _

Something about Seth saying it set me off and broke though the barrier of my mind. "_Why do you have to be such a jerk, Seth?! Why does everyone have to be such a jerk?! Emily's gone! You are all idiots, aren't you?"_

If I would have been with him, Seth would have stopped and stared at me. If Seth was Paul, Paul would have growled at me and challenged me to a fight. The same would go for Jacob, Jared and Leah. Quil and Embry would...Well, they would probably Collin and Brady wouldn't know what to do. They would tuck their tails between their legs and run off. And if...if Emily found out I said that to one of them she would have my head. I could see it now, actually. I would probably get hit in the head with the wooden spoon that she uses to hit the other boys while shes cooking.

_"__Exactly." _

The thought made me howl. A loud piercing howl, that made Seth cringe all the way in La Push.

_"__Sam! Jesus! Does common sense fly out the window when your like this too? What happened to being quiet? What happened to staying on the down low? The humans are going to hear you, Sam. Or is that what you want? The humans to expose you and then eventually expose us?" _He stopped for a second, thinking hard. About what, I couldn't concentrate on and I hardly cared. I just kept on running.

Running. That would get me back my Emily. Running. The most natural thing for us wolves to do. Well, apart from killing bloodsuckers but I would do that too, if I happened to run into a few.

"E_xposing us is definitely not going to get Emily back. Just running around like a crazy man isn't either."_ Seth interrupted again_. "What do you expect her to do Sam? Think to herself 'hmmm,, Sam's running around like crazy in a forest, I better come back.' No. Sam, the world doesn't work that way. Shes not going to come back just because you're crazy."_

My first thought was that he was beginning to sound an awful lot like his sister.

My second thought?

_"__I hate you, Seth, I really do."_

He didn't know what to do after I said it.

_"__I hate you too, Sam. Even if she comes back, I'll hate you."_

**A/N: How did you guys like? Again, I know its short but Sam doesn't really have very many thoughts except that he has to find Emily. A lot of people requested a Sam chapter though, so I did my best with it. You will be happy to know more Sam chapters are coming because...well, whats a Sam chapter without a little bit of Leah? **


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